the Power of One

“I am but a grain of sand
amongst the tranquil shore.
A little spec of quiet land
with the desire to be much more.

Into the deceptive calm I drop
my voice a radiant wake.
The turbulent truth beneath shall stop.
A difference this grain shall make.”

Troy White©2013

When we speak up, we encourage others to do the same. Many of us have similar thoughts, experiences and feelings but are too afraid to share them. It can be very scary to do. I have found that when I speak about my experience with abuse, domestic violence, depression, and anxiety, other people speak out as well. Sometimes it is in a private message or an email but that is fine. It is often the first time they have recognized it, acknowledged it, allowed themselves to feel it. By speaking out we validate what others may be thinking but feel they don’t have a right to feel.

Change happens when we realize we are not alone in our thoughts. It happens when we discuss and agree. it happens when we no longer accept the status quo. This leads to action and action leads to change. Share this, and keep the ripple moving outward. This is the power you have to change the world.

 

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Unexpected Honor

Think about this…..

Think about all of the people you talked to throughout the course of the day. Some were happy and outgoing, some may have been grumpy and sarcastic. But one out of every three people you spoke to suffers from anxiety or depression. One out of every four women you spoke to has experienced domestic violence. You think you know which ones? Probably not. They are often the ones you least expect because they hide their pain behind a smile and a kind voice. I was one of them.

I was honored to be asked to be the cover story in the June/July issue of “On the Minds of Moms” a local women’s magazine. It was a difficult decision for various reasons, the biggest was the fear of hurting my father because we have reconciled and have a very close relationship. But saying no meant being silent, which is what we can no longer be when it comes to domestic violence,abuse, and mental illness. Every time I speak at an event, someone approaches me afterward and shares their story. Often, several people approach me. I have learned that by sharing my voice, I give someone else theirs.

A large part of me wants to not make a big deal about this because it is a little scary. The people who read this article weren’t strangers online that I would never see. They were my neighbor’s, and friends, co-workers and colleagues. Then there is a part of me that says I need to share this and let as many people know as I can, because doing so helps others know they are not alone and that there is hope. They may find their voice and help others and so starts the ripple of the pond. So, I ask you to please share this article with others who might be suffering in silence. After all, one third of all the people you know are suffering in silence right now.

On The Minds of Moms

story by: patricia carlson

This was it. He had written what he needed to write. As Troy White stared at his computer screen, he second-guessed himself.

Was this the right time?

What would people think?

Making this Facebook post meant everyone would know; did he want that?

Maybe he should wait…NO!

This was right. This was the time. This was all about helping others, not just himself.

He took a deep breath…clicked post…one step closer to his purpose.

 

Troy White remembers a lot about his childhood. He remembers consciously thinking he would never forget what it is like to be a child; to see the world through a child’s eyes. Children are innocent, literal, curious, and loving. Even as a young boy there was something guiding Troy to his future…regardless of the domestic violence he experienced.

To read the article in its entirety, click the link below.

http://www.onthemindsofmoms.com/troy-white-written-purpose/

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The Wounded

God often bring the wounded together, for only they understand each other’s pain, and can help each other heal.

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Seeking Approval

There is no shame in wanting the approval of someone you love.

Approval is like food. We need it to survive. A starved person will do anything for food.

So love yourself and seek approval from the core of your beliefs, and you shall never go hungry again.

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The Power of a Woman

The power of a woman comes not from the strength of her body or the shrewdness of her resolve, but in the beauty of her heart, her mind, and her soul. A simple look can brighten the darkest hour. Her touch can warm the coldest of days. Her smile can intoxicate you. Her words can give wealth that the richest man would covet.

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fathers

A father must be the example of the man their son will someday become, and their daughter will someday marry.

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the-room

Today I hit 1,000 views of my video that broke my silence and started a new journey in helping others do the same. I hope that in some small way this has helped others to start, understand, or appreciate their journey. The support and feedback I have received has helped me on mine.
Child abuse can cause a lifetime of suffering from anxiety, depressions, and PTSD.  I was surprised at how many people, whom I new well, suffered in silence. Many broke their silence when I did. Please share with your friends and family and let them know it’s ok to do so and that they are not alone.
Thank you for all the support!

 

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Eyes of a Clown

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Do More Than Survive

Many people who have experienced adversity don’t like to be called victims. I am one of them. I didn’t choose to be a victim but I did choose not to remain one. I am now regarded as a “survivor” which is more politically correct but it implies that I barely made it. I don’t feel like I barely made it. I feel that I went beyond survival and I THRIVED!

All the negative things that I have gone through, I have tried to embrace. It isn’t always easy. I look at at how they have shaped me and given me my strengths (and in some cases my weaknesses).  I haven’t let them define me because I am more than a person who endured child abuse. I am more than someone who battled anxiety, PTSD, and depression. I am a person who has succeeded in spite of and because of them. By embracing them, my experiences have given me my life’s purpose. I truly feel blessed.

At times I start to “survive” again. That’s ok. We all have to take the time to reflect and gain perspective sometimes. But the perspective we need to be working toward is one of thriving. How are you looking at things in your life. Are you surviving or are you looking at how you can take the ingredients life gave you and make something positive? How can you turn your life into a thriving one? These are the questions I ask myself and God and I always get an answer…when I ask. Without fail, if I don’t ask, I don’t get an answer. Funny how that works. 🙂

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You may know me, but you have no idea who I am.

I designed this as an illustration of my life, and a metaphor for the many others who we see and talk to every day. Most of my life, people saw an outgoing person with a sense of humor and other positive and negative mannerisms. Like many people, this is only the part that I let people see. I didn’t show them the severe anxiety and the depression I once battled daily. I didn’t show the physical, verbal and mental abuse I suffered as a child. Like so many others, I kept it a secret.

Once I overcame these things, felt compelled to share who I really was and let people really know me. It was one of the most difficult things I have done but the most rewarding and liberating. I no longer had to hide who I was. When I stepped forward and shared who I really was,  so many people I had known all my life stepped forward and shared their story with me. It was sobering.

Take the time to look below the surface of everyone you meet. Odds are, you will find something beautiful in everyone. It doesn’t mean we have to like everyone we meet but maybe with a little effort, we can understand them.

 

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